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Old 04-12-2012, 10:46 AM
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rory rory is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Europe
Posts: 497

Dream away, girl!

I don't wish to take your fun away, but I do want to comment on the points you made. To a, I do manage to have my own space even in a two-people setting, there's no reason you couldn't. Obviously, Dream City is an expensive place to live in, so financial considerations might do the difference, i.e., it might be somewhat easier for 4 people to manage a house with 4 bedrooms+living room (though that might be a challenge, too), than for 2 people to manage two bedrooms (yet, one-bedroom might be enough for two to have private space, as it is for me and Alec currently). To b, I don't think that would be necessarily so. I don't know if I would be much help with that, being an introvert. Besides, JJ's needs for your company are one thing, and his needs for company in general are another.

C is kinda sorta true if you wish to look at it that way. But d I don't completely agree with again. If we had two apartments between the four of us, it would be easier I think for the guys at least to have others (if they wish to) since I figure it would work fine for you or me to go and visit each other and the one having a date could have their flat to themselves. Besides, I'm not sure I see everybody being comfortable with having sex loudly if there are other people in the same apartment, whether it's two of us or somebody with another person. If there are four people living together, there's rarely going to be privacy for loud sex no matter who wants to have it; more likely to happen with two flats available.

No objections to being a hippie, though!

For me, the concept of all four of us living together feels attractive in a way. Proximity to both of my partners would be totally cool, I would love the practicality. Also, I would be doing poly better, right? (Just kidding with that! )

However, for me there's more to the other side. I am an introvert and cannot help to feel quite a bit of anxiety at the thought of sharing a home with three other people, no matter how comfortable I am with them. At times I feel like living with one partner is too much, but that works because I have my own space, and do actually spend a lot of time home alone. I have had flexible schedules for a long time which allows me to do that, and I need it. That would be seriously harder living with more people.

I feel like a total buzzkill always coming up with reasons why co-habitation would not work. I also have a suspicion that because I always come off so against it Mya will feel like I don't want to live with her, which is completely not true. Also, my own need for space is something I still sometimes feel anxious to express (fear of not being enough), even though I have made the decision to not let my fear stop me from speaking, and I am working towards getting completely comfortable with it. However, I feel like I need to express it any time Mya brings up co-habitation, because I don't enjoy upholding wants that are unrealistic. Thus, I don't enjoy reveling too much in how great it would be if I could live with her, because in the practical circumstances I don't think that will happen any time soon. I know she approaches wants differently, so maybe I should just shut up and not be a total downer?
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