Thread: Dating advice?
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Old 04-12-2012, 01:51 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
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Originally Posted by nllswing View Post
She then said: But why do you want to do that?
I answered: Because I like your company.
Here, she continued with "but I am much older than you" and after I answered with "yes, I know" she explained that she has a full life and that she was reached to a point where she is not interested in romantic activities.
Then she said something of the sort of "I am not sure if this has actually crossed your mind, but I want to make sure."
Wow, what an opportunity! Did you tell her, "Yes, it has crossed my mind many times." Or did you just leave it at that? Because I think that was the perfect chance to let her know about your non-monogamous marriage, your romantic interest in her, and (I hope) that she still has your friendship. She might feel that she has no room for romance in her life right now simply because she hasn't seen the possibility for it. Why not give her something to consider while you still invest in the friendship. With all your cards on the table, she might be moved to do something out of her comfort zone, or out of character for her, after some thinking about it.

Originally Posted by nllswing View Post
While she mentioned age first, and she said that she is in general not interested in dating, I know that if she liked me romantically, she would have gone for it because she knows what she wants and how to get it. I hate it when love hurts so much!

Now I am thinking: "man, if you are not good even for a toyboy, you are really good for nothing."
Don't think it is you, beating yourself up is so unkind! Age can be huge for some people. The other day a guy who is 30 years younger than me contacted me on OKC and I. just. couldn't. Some things are too hard to get past... initially.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 05-01-2014 at 04:25 AM.
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