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Old 04-12-2012, 01:34 AM
PolyCurious4 PolyCurious4 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 31
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Jade thank you for your feedback and food for thought.

We primarily see each other one night a week and ocassinally spend and an additional night. Typically we see each other for about 3 hours. Ocassionally we may all four get together for a movie or game night. Maybe I am asking for too much but a few hours 1 x a week with zero communication the rest of the week beyond the morning one liners seems limited. When we do see each other 30-45 minutes is visiting & the rest is physical time. So for instance not enough time for a movie and physical time. I think the suggestions of spending time to connect without the physical are excellent suggestions. Because so much of our time is dedicated to the physical of our relationship the communication throughout the week has been important to me.

He is a communicator. He talks a lot and prior to recently we talked often. I expected that would taper off some because maintaining the new excitement isn't sustainable and because he had let his studies slide but didn't expect to go down to zero.

You're right, it may be their version of poly may just be different. Maybe we're asking for too much too soon. Maybe we're asking for too much in general. Maybe we're over thinking this. I don't want it to turn into a sexual relationship only and the drop off in communication is concerning for me.

There have been other areas that Hubby had concerns about as well but because we had such a good connection I was willing to go with the flow. I've posted about the difference between the communication with Hubby. We've learned she truly doesn't communicate the same and isn't a big talker do completely understand. There have been the issues that when trying to schedule it felt like at their whim. We, at the advice here, invited them to join us at an event we intended to attended. They never got back to us and have made plans with others (the joys of FB let's you know what others are doing when maybe you'd rather not know). Recently we got a date night free with babysitter and we were excited to go out and instead they took all day to get to us if they'd like to get together (we invited to go out with us and she had to ask him and so we didn't make other plans & ended up not getting back to us late so we didn't end up getting together until 9pm and they only wanted to stay in). We've talked about doing vanilla out of the house things (often their suggestions) but nothing comes to fruition and with things being limited to the house & majority of that to the bedroom the communication part was very important to me.
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