I only have time to comment on one point...
If I were you, I would have a night together where you say, "Let's just hang out or cuddle," and not have sex. Don't "warn" him in advance. Just schedule your regular get-together and after he arrives, in a very relaxed way tell him you'd rather just connect with him without sex tonight.
Do something else, go out for the evening, take a walk, play cards, watch a movie, whatever.
Those first few nights when Lively and I did not fuck were valuable. That's when I started feel like we had a real, true friendship and I meant more to him than just sex. It helped to deepen our relationship and now, almost ten months later, we sometimes fuck, sometimes not, but we're always affectionate and always have great conversations (which is one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place).
Independent solo polyamorist seeking lover-friends willing to invest in friendship, companionship, and love, but without a need for partnership.
Never confuse commitment with exclusivity, love with ownership, nor sex with intimacy!
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan