I only have time to comment on one point...
If I were you, I would have a night together where you say, "Let's just hang out or cuddle," and not have sex. Don't "warn" him in advance. Just schedule your regular get-together and after he arrives, in a very relaxed way tell him you'd rather just connect with him without sex tonight.
Do something else, go out for the evening, take a walk, play cards, watch a movie, whatever.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Last edited by nycindie; 05-01-2014 at 04:26 AM.