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Old 04-11-2012, 04:35 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mudita View Post
Not sure about this.
Sounds like a good first step but unless there's a concerted effort to get to the bottom of why he feels like this it's just kicking the can down the road.
The boyfriend's feelings of insecurity are his own responsibility to dig at and break open. No one else can "get to the bottom of his feelings" for him. All Aurelie can do is keep her word, love him, and encourage him to keep dealing with it. After two long posts Aurelie made about how they spent a long weekend baring their souls to each other, renegotiating agreements, and setting boundaries for moving forward, you neglect to see that they are doing exactly what needs to be done? Do you actually think they're not making a concerted effort to make the relationship work for both of them? Re-read those posts, you must be letting something color your perceptions.

Aurelie, I think it is all quite encouraging and you took huge, important steps. Of course, there's always work to do but don't feel you haven't done enough yet. Being willing to have difficult, frank communication is key and you met that head on.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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