Originally Posted by Ivy
Most "mainstream" and monogamous people I've spoken with think of free-love hippies, with a touch of egotistical intellectualism--as in "We're smarter/more thoughtful/more communicative/more enlightened than you, so you could never be one of us."
I have met some poly people who are like that, and I often see some judgment cast on monogamous folk, as if they don't question their own choices, or have been oppressed somehow.
Just my impression.
So, when I read this I thought about it for a moment. I wouldn't say more enlightened but wouldn't you say we are more free-thinking and understanding? I had a conversation with someone yesterday and they said they believed getting a lap dance at a strip club was cheating. That's maybe a little extreme but my point is we have all kinds of tolerance here. We have polygamy, polyamory, polyandry, swinging (which isn't poly but another whole thing all together) and so many more definitions. We can understand all of these even if we don't agree with them. I find most of my monogamous friends are accepting but not at all understanding. They ask me questions and stare at me blankly when I explain. Then they ask the question a different way. "aren't you jealous? No. Well it doesn't bother you when she's having sex with someone else? No. What if she leaves you for him? Won't happen, but if it did its not because of the sex" etc.
To many monogamists it's cheating. To us it's life. We aren't any better, we are just different. And the issue isn't our lifestyle. There are too many camps for us to ever unify. No, the problem is our honesty. People are liars. They don't like that we accept this because they can't. Think about it. Far more people cheat than practice polygamy. It's just how we are. We are deceitful.