Thank you for the reply. Most of the threads I was able to find deal with the issues of the married couple explaining the 'friend' or coming out that way to their friends.
In our situation the challenge is: how do we fit into her vanilla life? We all spend a lot of time with each other. The wife and her are great friends, her and I go out and do a lot of things together, and we also tend to have a lot of 'family time' with the three of us. When she visits her parents, which is often, she has been constantly having to filter what she tells them.
Has anyone been through telling their very conservative parents that they are involved with a couple? Any advice?