This was a very fun thread to read!
I'm pretty close to my ideal
Fly (BF) and I have been together a little more than six years, and I feel like we've finally settled into a very comfortable, supportive, trusting relationship. We live together, but have separate bedrooms for space and privacy. We also are raising his 8-year-old son, and are open to having a baby together if it happens. It's taken all this time to work the kinks out, but we're at the point now where we don't have very many "relationship discussions," because we know each other so well, and have worked through anxiety/trust/fear issues extensively and lovingly.
Fly tends to have hook-ups, or date people for a few weeks, and then find new people. I don't understand it, but have come to recognize that it's what makes him happy, and have let go trying to make him "do poly the right way." Part of me being so joyful in my life is related to learning to let him do his thing, and to welcome the energy he brings when he's getting what he wants in his life.
I also have Punk, who I see about once a week. Our relationship is so different than mine with Fly, and I really cherish the time we spend together. He is married, and has a child (who I adore), so it works very well that we are secondarys for each other. The only thing I wish is that he lived closer (he's 30-40 minutes away). I would like to be able to see him more often, on a more casual basis. I think our kids would get along really well also. I'd love to be able to make park playdates, or to meet for a quick spontaneous half-hour to grab ice cream or something in the evening.
I think that I would also enjoy having a female lover-friend, with whom I could be sexually intimate and who also shares interests that my guys don't, like theater, pedicures, shopping, road trips, Grey's Anatomy...
For the most part, I'm just ecstatic to have two such wonderful guys in my life, and the freedom to build whatever kinds of relationships I want with whomever I choose. This is not
the life I pictured for myself, but I had no idea how great things could be until I got to this place