Okay, so we are new to this forum, and any forum for that matter.
We are here because we need feedback.
We started this journey almost 2 years ago (this Nov.). We both decided that polyamory is something we want to have in our lives. Rather it be just a meaningless threesome, we decided we want to share our relationship with another woman; A BBW; that it would be something long-term, a woman with whom we can care for and appreciate. We are a very loving couple and simply want to share our love and affection with a woman and be a triad relationship. At the time, it didn't seem like to much to ask for, but we've hit a wall.
We feel like we've been through it all, except the relationship part. Countless dates with women, frazzled nerves, our daily (sometimes 4x daily) rituals of searching craigslist, dating sites, polyamory dating sites, flirting w/ women in public, inviting them to our home, numerous lunch/dinners, sacrificed friendships, 60 mile trips are just some of the things we have experienced.
For every woman we have talked to, a seemingly solid connection is made we end up talking for a week or two...and then all the sudden "BAM"! They ALWAYS flake out. With almost always the lamest excuses; "I overslept/fell asleep", "I'm too tired", "busy with others", there's a problem with our ages (after they were well aware of our ages when we met or had been talking to for a week), superficial/ shallow, or they have a bad attitude/not nice people. Or Women who are CLEARLY only looking for sex, but put up a front and lie, and pretend that they want a relationship/friendship first.
So clearly we are being lied to our faces, and we can't figure out whats wrong with us, and it just feels like we aren't going to find someone who wants what we want. We are always up front, and honest and respectful to everyone we meet or talk to, and we can't get any respect or honesty from anyone we've talked to.
One of the things that is important to us, is that we have studied and researched this type of relationship. We are a couple of old souls who are ready and willing to handle this. We have both realized that being polyamorous in our marriage with another woman is something we welcome and have learned about ourselves.
We just feel frustrated and like we are stuck in a rut, and feel like we are never going to achieve this.