Originally Posted by nightrush
When i move in, things may change and i just worry that i am going to turn the ones world upside down and he will not be able to take the pressure.
You've only been together a short time, so I hope you are not planning on moving in before you've been with them for at least a year. They do sound like they are viewing this situation as a Couple Plus One rather than 1+1+1 all with equal say and responsibility. There are certainly issues here that need some light shone on them, and some negotiations. When you ask for boundaries or make agreements, it is important that people know there are consequences for crossing them or not living up to them.
You really have begun to set a dangerous precedent for yourself in terms of tolerating too much bullshit and it will continue unless you stand up for yourself and say, "No more." I also wonder why they can't stay at your place. Another reason why they seem very couplecentric and mostly invested in the dyad than in the triad.