Ah the online thing ... my current boyfriend Lin and I had that as well. We met online and fell in love during years of spending time together via the net. The only advice I can give you is to meet in person as soon as possible. Maybe all the things going on between you is just what it seems to be as long as the physical contact isn't established. When Lin and I met again after meeting once before, I was extremely nervous because it is about the actual in person contact that determins if you will be able to pull any relationship off. As long as you are unsure about that part, it doesn't really make sense to think about possible relationships and the like.
Secondly the hypocritical part. Do his other relationships work like that as well? Or is it something he is only experiencing in regard to you?
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.