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Old 04-07-2012, 07:09 PM
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Hollyx Hollyx is offline
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Default Boyfriend having trouble coping with emotional *thing*

Sorry for the title (and subsequent wall of text), couldn't think of a brief way to sum this up.

Basically, me and my girlfriend both had not-ideal childhoods, it's something thats brought us together since we can talk about stuff thats pretty much impossible with anyone else. My boyfriend had a pleasant upbringing, and while he has always been sympathetic and supportive, he has trouble with understanding.

So, rewind to last week, and they'd been out together and come home a little drunk and a lot horny. We all ended up in bed together, all was going very well, but a triggering event occurred. A 'I just jumped out of the bed sideways, ran into the other room, and cried in a fetal position' kinda triggering.

My girlfriend was very upset, but voted to go out for a long brisk walk, because thats her best coping strategy. My boyfriend, however didn't know what to do. He did the best thing for me though, which was to just give me space so I could lock the monster back into it's box at the back of my brain.

Fast forward to the following morning and my girlfriend and I are both feeling a little senstitive, but are smiley and jokey (because we've both been through stuff bad enough that this just felt like a blip). My boyfriend, however, was distraught.

And he's still really depressed about it now, over a week later.

We've talked about it, about what triggered me, about how he felt, about how we all coped with it, about stuff from previous relationships that may have made him feel irrationally worse. I felt like we made some breakthroughs.

But he's still depressed.

Honestly, I know it might take time and I should just give him as much as he needs, but I just feel like shouting "Harden the fuck up, Princess!" in his ear.

Blah. Sorry, just needed to get this out there. Any anecdotes of similar stuff working out ok greatfully accepted!
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