Had you and she agreed at this point that it was ok for her to have sex (oral, in this case) with him? Sorry, a little confused on that point in the story. The last I recall about agreements was that sexting was ok and you guys were going to work out the rest.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.