. This is what I love about this forum; my needs are actually acknowledged instead of assumed to be wrong! The issue is Gentleman's wife is not down for poly at ALL. She nearly bit his head off the one time he brought it up with her and made it very clear to him it was in no way even close to acceptable to her. I think she believes poly would destroy her marriage and cause Gentleman to not provide her with all she needs.
So when I said she's mono and he's poly I meant in orientation not action; they have chosen a monogamous marriage.
Also, to be completely honest with myself I think I'm attracted to him as a (for lack of a better word) husband and father of potential children rather than what is actually remotely possible; which is to be his loved and friend. I think I look at all that he's built in his home life and it represents to me all that T e and I so deeply lack, and so deeply crave; stability, social support, social approval, family support, family approval.
These things are especially hard around family holidays, when T and I are faced with our family's disapproval and lack of support all the more.
I honestly faced way less discrimination in my Lesbian relationships than I do in this (failed) poly one.
And just think; T and I aren't even in a multiple relationship right now! People are mad at us because of his divorce not because of our current actions!