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Old 04-07-2012, 04:43 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by km34 View Post
Would it seem less crazy if the couples said they were wanting to find someone to develop a new, lasting group marriage with instead of saying they wanted to add to their current marriage?
YES! Oh my god yes, that would be a million times better. There is nothing inherently wrong, in theory, with already having one partner and having a preference for a triad. But the way people go about handling such a preference is so frequently just ridiculously problematic and fail-tastic that the phrases Vix is talking about have become like unpleasant triggers for me. Just recently I read an essay that I thought had some great thoughts and advice in it, but it used those phrases once or twice and I just couldn't stand it.

The phrasing you used at least exhibits a set of understandings that all too often seem to elude unicorn hunters. I still would be wary of people who said such a thing, if I were a solo person searching for relationships, because it's structure-focused rather than person-focused and I think that's dangerous (I'd much rather see people describe what sort of person/people they're into and mention their ideal structure as an aside) but I'd be much more open to maybe talking to them.
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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