Originally Posted by dingedheart
I meant did you have extensive dating histories prior to finding each other....not how long you dated each other.
I'd research the cultural divide the nycindie outlined ....police might not be too sympathetic knowing you invited this into your life.
Also there is the her problem with you being with other women ....shouldn't that be fixed before moving forward?
I have had 1 long term relationship and 2 shorter ones. Never a bad breakup, just different life paths.
She has had 3 long terms and I think 2 shorter ones. Hers tend to end badly which may explain her insecurity.
Me being with other women? She says she is fine with it and often imagines it so she can see through my eyes. This is all so new we haven't tried me with another woman. She might have some things to work over when/if that occurs but I think most new polys do.
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
Haven't you guys known this dude for a very short time? Why on earth would you be thinking this far into the future with him when you barely even know him? With any new poly situation, keep it casual at first!
This... this is a whole new perspective. I am a planner and don't like to "play it by ear". That is actually part of what attracted her to ahmed because he is impulsive and young. He likes to stay up all night and I sleep early. Not thinking things through is a recipe for disaster.
Still, I think you're right... My wife (I keep calling her this for anonymity) and ahmed have been resistant to thinking far into the future because ALL relationships start like that. Who wants to start a relationship discussing children and marriage? I think you've convinced me to back down on the planning. I'm likely worrying for nothing because once the NRE dies it will become clear that this can't be a long term thing.