Originally Posted by Heropsychodream
... and deal with a baby (our goals). I don't see this working long term. He does. Someone's going to get hurt
Yes, and that someone is going to be the kid, if any one of you feels wishy-washy about involvement/commitment. Do not plan a kid and have all three of you raising it unless ALL of you are committed to it TOGETHER, and TRUST each others' commitment! If he's committed but you don't trust that, it will cause friction. If he says he's committed and then craps out and runs off when the kid is five years old, the kid is effectively losing a parent! Horrible! If you honestly feel he can't commit to the kid (a VERY reasonable concern!), then DON'T allow for him to be included in planning for the kid. If your gametes are involved, you have a responsibility to see to it that the baby is raised in a healthy and loving environment. Don't reproduce if you don't think that will be possible.
At least, them's be my morals; yours might be different.