Thread: D/s and poly
View Single Post
Old 11-25-2009, 07:44 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

I'm largely confused at this point....

kind of feel like I just got off the tilt-a-whirl and am trying to get my balance back.
RP-sometimes I think I'm in love with your online self. Seriously-you so often SAY what I am thinking it's kind of like listening to myself talk!!!!
I feel that way right now already-but when I was trying to write and then read it-I was like "WOW that IS a freaking tilt-a-whirl!

I wonder if a re-shuffle of household responsibilities are in order rather than becoming a sub.... maybe doing that first?
That's already been done-I was trying to give you guys an example of my personality vs my responsibilities-admittedly didn't do a great job. I don't remember currently (and don't know how to flip between pages) if I mentioned that with all that is going on I am having serious issues with my anxiety levels-which is a major component of my ADD. It also causes me to have difficulty wording things, taking what's in my mind and transferring it to words and language that is coherent.

I am not seeing it as viable to be completely submissive if you are "the boss" of so many other areas of your life. Perhaps dividing responsibilities up more will create more balance and therefore more balance in the bedroom?
It's not a "completely submissive" thing in one sense and it's not really "bedroom related per se either". I need to work on figuring out how exactly to explain it.

One thing that complicates-is that Maca (and GG) have NEVER participated in ANYTHING to do with D/s at all in their lives and are very uneducated on the topic. So it's a gradual thing-because without understanding completely that a D's purpose is to Find and figure out the "unspoken needs" of the s, then they have to CREATE the "environment" that will "allow" those needs to be fulfilled without the s having responsibility for them.... they can't appropriately be a Dom.

So without them being fully aware yet-there is much that hasn't been done/addressed/agreed to/incorporated.

It did for me a couple of years ago.
I was the boss of everything. I had a baby back then and would bark out my orders to anyone who would listen and do as they were told.... extreme! I hated being a new mother, never took to the baby thing and was very resentful. That is the reason I only have one child. That gradually seeped into the bedroom. I just would lie back and take it in order to get off... after having other fun that is. Now there is a balance in everything in my life and I find that I can allow myself to be bossy and get off... if that makes sense? I am learning that I LOVE IT! there is nothing I love more than pinning my lover down, strapping them down and fucking the shit out of them until climax, mmmmmm mmmmmmm that is getting me going!

Not really pertinent to this situation-but sexy visual anyway.

I gotta run-again. Going for my walk. I'll come back this afternoon to catch up on all my messages and the million and one questions I'm causing all of you patient posters to have in trying to help me.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote