please be a little more tactful/clear with your statements nycindie, as it was quite interpretable. Hence the reason I felt you were calling/comparing me to a sereal killer.
secondly, as per your question about why I thought it was ok to dismiss her concerns: I never did discount what she said, or how she felt. I told her from the get go, the situation was more than likely exactly how she thought it was. But I felt to be truly objective we ought to hear what they had to say. And if it were exactly as my girlfriend said, the couple would (hopefully) learn a very valuable lesson about not taking advange of other people.
third, you said I whined and moped when i didn't get what I wanted. You are right, and I have said that I am sorry numerous times. I let my ambitions take me away, and for that, I sincerely apologise to her. That said, it is ok for me to be upset I didn't get what I want. But I know I need to handle it differently in the future. I am learning, AS WE ALL ARE.
lastly, I did not pressure my girlfriend into sleeping with either of them, nor did I pressure her into being around them. The only thing I tried to do was get her to talk to them after the problem occurred. And i've stated my reasons for that.
she did not tell me that was the only thing the huband had said. She had made it seem like that was the only thing she could make out of their conversation. I thought at the time there may be more to the conversation, I did not know that's the only thing he had said. This was the reason I was set on talking to them, to get to the bottom, and see if there was anything that was misinterpreted.
I hope this answers some of your questions.