Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
I invite you to invite her here to read my words. Or, of course, you could tell her yourself that the way she's treating you is ridiculous and that she's putting your marriage in serious peril. Stand. Up. For. Yourself.
UPDATE from OP:
Guys (and gals), I gotta say this community rocks
. After some time to think and knowing of your responses she indeed did reach a new understanding. She now accepts pornography, masturbation, or outside flirting on my part as long as it is not hidden. I still don't really want to partake in those activities right away because frankly I don't have the time lol.
I have talked with ahmed (well... texted) and he agreed to the love thing. I have given the okay for texting back and forth until more boundaries can be set up. I will explore the other threads and I'm sure they will offer helpful advice on things I can't even foresee.
So guys, the new question becomes the question of dealing with a virgin. He says that his religion prevents sex before marriage (and I am assuming anal and vaginal here) under death so he won't do it. He is still a guy though and guys... we've been there. When you are in the moment your morals, your mother, or your god won't stand in the way of getting it. I fear that if he has full-blown sex with her he will become FAR too attached.
My question now is have any of you dealt with a virgin in a poly-situation and what can I/we possibly do about it? Are these even valid fears? What would you do?