Maybe this cuckold dynamic is the cause of your blowjob problem.
Don't you think it has become that...or was set up like that from the beginning?
I thought this was a vee not a triad?
Sounds like your Ok with everything but the label and consciously participating in it for some gratification. So don't. Don't use the label and don't participate in ways which would put you in that position.
It said here all the time people can't make you feel one way or another...everyone's responsible for their own feelings. So is it you don't want the appearance or label of being a cuckold. Or you don't want to feel like your being cuckolded. 2 different solutions.