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Old 04-05-2012, 06:11 AM
urmila urmila is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: chennai, India
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alexi View Post
I am a little unclear about this. Can you please elaborate?

Alexi
When i wrote that we want to make our relationship permanent and get a religious sanctity is that
we have decided that I get married to my cousin and my husband will get married to cousin’s wife in a religious ceremony according to Hindu rites ( Please click in link for the details http://hinduism.about.com/od/matrimo...ng_rituals.htm )
In addition to these rites, tying of a mangalasutra by the groom around the neck of bride is an important part of south Indian marriage. On the wedding day, a yellow thread is prepared by using turmeric paste and is tied around the bride's neck with three knots during the marriage ceremony while the priest recites Vedic hymns and partakes in prayers. (Later, the mangalsutra may be restrung on some auspicious day in the form of a necklace made of gold and black beads strung together on one or two yellow threads or gold chains with an elaborate pendant of gold or diamond. In an arranged marriage, the design of mangalsutra is usually chosen by the groom's family in keeping with their customs.) Since both of us had our mangalasutra with a pendant, it was decided that we will get this modified adding another pendent in the chain signifying our status of having 2 husbands. We have already placed order with the goldsmith and we expect it to be ready by April first week. Another ritual is the groom puts on the toe rings on brides second toe (Wearing of toe rings is practiced in India. It is worn as a symbol of the married state by Hindu women. They are usually made of silver and worn on the second toe of both feet. It is somewhat similar to the western culture where a married woman will be wearing the wedding ring on the 3rd finger of the left hand) We decided to leave the existing rings in place and add one more set during the ceremony(l see attached pics)

Regarding the actual marriage ceremony, we have decided to have a temple wedding in a small town in south Tamilnadu, where we know such marriages are performed. The priest will give us the auspicious day and the time, after studying the horoscopes of the groom and the bride and if we pay the money required for performing ceremony and the wedding lunch for specified number of guests, all the arrangements will be made by them. We only have to take our wedding dresses, mangalasutra and the toe rings
In the second week of April, my husband and my cousin are going to that town and meet the priest and explain that mangalasutras of their wives were snatched away by a pair of youths at knife point, when they were on their early morning walk. Since it was considered as a bad omen the wives are insisting on going thro’ the wedding ceremony again, during which new mangalasutras can be tied around their neck. And request him to fix a single day for both the pairs and informing him that only 4 of us will be coming and requesting him for conduct the marriage ceremony and provide a wedding lunch for about 25 guests, invited by the priest from the local Brahmin community.
We are hoping that the priest will be convinced with this and oblige us, thus providing us the religious sanctity for our second wedding but with different partners. By this we hope to eliminate hierarchy and there won’t be any primary and secondary relationship either. Our poly life will statrt from that day and we will keeping it private, by not revealing it to anybody including my son.

I will narrate very briefly about a few of the boundaries we have set, within which we want to live, in my next letter
Urmila
Attached Images
File Type: jpg mangalasutra- old and new.JPG (4.1 KB, 10 views)
File Type: jpg toe rings.JPG (9.7 KB, 9 views)
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