I agree with AnnabelMore.
Succinctly, you're not being a feminist, you're being a doormat.
Being in a healthy relationship is about getting your own needs met as well as your partner's. This is not a healthy relationship, from the way you are describing it.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb