Originally Posted by persephone
At present, it feels like J. and I are in a stalemate. He's made it pretty clear that he would like to be in a relationship with me, but does not want to spend any alone time with me that would take him away from his wife and kids in the evenings or on weekends. I have made it crystal clear that a big part of what I want in a relationship is someone to go out with in the evenings, dinner, movies, all that mundane but fun stuff. ...
I think it's quite clear that he's not available for a relationship of the sort that you want. You can choose to become his booty call and have no romance or just have no romance and maintain the friendship.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.