CielduMatin, these are some of the ways I've tried to accommodate J.'s needs:
Spent time with him and his wife and kids on numerous occasions, even though his kids have some pretty extreme behavioral issues. I've been over to their house, had them over to mine, gone on outings with him and his kids and my younger child, etc., even though I would much prefer to see J. alone. I know that he needs anyone he dates to have a good relationship with his children, so I have tried to, even though they are very challenging kids.
Dealt with the fact that J. shows every single IM chat and email we have to his wife, even when I've told him very personal things. I know they have a need to be totally transparent with each other, so I haven't objected to it, even though it makes me uncomfortable at times, especially when he tells me that his wife was "amused" by something I had not thought of as amusing.
Rory, thanks for your input. I think you are absolutely right. I always feel that I can "fix" things, but I don't think I can do so here.
Last edited by persephone; 04-04-2012 at 06:46 PM.