The Man Enters...
A few weeks ago we both realized that a man that we know had such a nice energy about him and that we felt so comfortable with that my wife commented that “maybe he could be our little boy toy.” I admit that I think he is cute, and while i didn’t want to kiss him, I enjoyed the thought of playing with both of them. I’m not gay, but I’m not homophobic. I have plenty of gay friends and I’ve found a few guys cute, but I’m just really into women. I’d love to have a threesome with my wife. I’ve always fantasized and longed for a threesome, an open relationship, multiple partners, etc. Of course, as a very heterosexual man, I would love to have a threesome with my wife and another woman, but this man who showed up in our lives simply doesn’t have that genitalia.
So one day after much procrastination i told him that we have an open relationship, that we can “date other people” and that my wife “has a crush” on him. I chose words and phrases intentionally to be subtle and non threatening. we both really liked him as a friend, and I didn’t want to risk losing that by offending or scaring him away. Still, you have to take a shot or you’ll never score a goal, right? I mean how many fish can you catch if you dont put your hook in the water? You have to try or else shut up with all your damn fantasies.
He was shocked but received the new possibility with grace and charm. We discussed how important it was that this newly opened door not poison our core primary friendship. rather we clarified that our friendship was the very reason that the door could even possibly be opened.
There was no way my wife would have worked up the courage to tell him herself, and i am good with words and concepts. It felt like it was my place to open that door a crack. checking in with him a few days later, he indicated that he is open to the idea and does not want to mess up our friendship or my wife and my marriage. that’s the perfect thing for him to have said, as far as I’m concerned! He was respectful and concerned right from the start. that reinforced our trust.
We all went out together to dinner, shopping, night on the town, etc. we actually even met each others parents, although it was not under the auspice of “meeting the parents.” It just happened that way. They don’t know we are lovers now. It’s our little triad secret.
we’d have the best conversations. We really just plain enjoy each others company! We just focused on our friend ship, but with this open door in all of our consciousnesses. No pressure. No rush. No need. We just opened the door and left it open, and if we ever went through it, great. If not, no problem! It felt healthy and hearty.