Originally Posted by persephone
I expected that he and I would continue seeing each other one on one, and he did make plans with me a few times after that, but they were always plans that included C. as well. (Both us ladies are straight.) I like C., but I made it very clear to J. that I wasn't dating her too. So he'd make plans with me, then invite C. along, and I'd shrug and invite my husband. We all became good couple friends that way, but my romantic relationship with J. did not feel, to me, as if it was progressing at all.
At present, it feels like J. and I are in a stalemate. He's made it pretty clear that he would like to be in a relationship with me, but does not want to spend any alone time with me that would take him away from his wife and kids in the evenings or on weekends.
It sounds like you're not very high in his list of priorities, and it sounds like that position is not enough for you to consider yourself in a relationship with him. It is pretty irrelevant to you whether his reluctance to spend time with you on evenings is because of his wife or because of feeling guilty: either way he has made his choice. I would suggest you continue as friends only.