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Old 04-04-2012, 03:44 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 651

Thanks for the different perspectives.

Annabel: I am so, so very hoping that this might be the way tings will turn out in the end. That this is what the situation will look like and how everyone feels about it. I have looked at your story, while thinking about this outcome and if it would be possible for us. I know how things would progress if I could write the script but I know that life isn't always a bowl of cherries. This is out of my control and I just can look at the likely outcomes and the roots for them we have now and admit that I have no control over them. Things will be what they develop into, I need to relax.

And yes, both will be present at birth as far as my wish is concerned, but Lin is a bit scared to actually be there and see things he will never be able to forget, as his visual skills are so well developed. I heard of births where the male partakers were having problems seeing their wives like that. But that is a topic I will start to worry about in some months/a years time, probably .

Jane: I read about your history with pregnancies and children and I was sad to read such a tragic story. I am sure that I would cope with something like that really bad. One adjusts to nearly everything in life if forced, but some things are harder to accept than others. Sorry for your loss. I hope for Lin to kind of 'get into the mood' as soon as things start to develop in front of his eyes. As this is how it seems to work for him, I don't think that there will be some real assertions possible before that point in time. I hate the insecure part of that, the possibility of him figuring out that this was something he didn't wish for in the end, but well again, I need to relax and trust in his ability to take the measure of himself correctly.

Cindie: I initially wanted to be pregnant during my second half of the whole exams (being pregnant, not having the child already). Meaning the first half being out of the picture by then. As thing look like now, I will have to prepare for this planned 'second half' to be the whole deal and prepare in advance for each possible examination in advance. This is possible from my point of view. And yes, you are right, that will be stressful, I am not delusional about that fact, but the exams should be mainly out of the window by the time the pregnancy is reaching it's peak. (So much for the theory, I know.) I don't want to have the child and still prepare for my examinations, I need to write my final paper during that time for sure, but that is something I can do by myself and at home single-handedly.

The marriage of my sister will be done after this month, the pregnancy is planned for the end of the year, nothing correlating on that front. We don't know yet if chemo will be the therapy my mother is going to run through, as we (hopefully) hear about the results today. There is a possibility that there will be a different kind of therapy more suited for her cure. Nevertheless, she made an appointment for the 16th this month to undergo surgery. Even if her therapy will last for some months, if this is going to still be a topic during summer of the next year, things will have developed badly. I can't change that fact and I don't want to postpone my life because of something like that. The whole family is there to support her, I am sure that I will find a way to deal with this worst case scenario as well.

Lastly, Sward. No, don't worry, he isn't as ill as he has been. But something like that will not heal again. The strain on his back is a fact, the hard work he needs to do is one as well. Working in a company from which you know that it is on the brink of insolvency is stressful in and of itself and I want him to cut down quite a bit to not strain himself even more. He always wanted to take parental leave as soon as our child would be able to be a bit more independent of me. Full leave at first, later he wanted to work again part time. He isn't the type to constantly stay at home without some kind of work.

But you are right, I had the same idea about mighty universe wanting to tell me something and such. Things aren't fixed by now. They won't be till October, that is the earliest point in time we wanted to try at all. If things take a turn for the worse, I will have to postpone everything even if I don't like it. I know that. But as I said, I am a planner and I want it. So, my volition is clear, plans are made, we are going to see how the things to come will look like. Hoping for the best
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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