Originally Posted by Anneintherain
I have felt it at times when I like/trust my metamours. As of yet I haven't experienced it if I don't like or know them, not that I've actually had any metamours I don't like so far, but I am guessing I would find it much harder to do if that was the case.
That's a good point. I've certainly felt compersion, so I know it's real. But I get along great with my wife's metamour, and we all have a policy of being open with each other when we're feeling bad or have unmet needs. We've helped each other through rough times, look out for each other, and consider the three of us as family. My wife has felt compersion for me as well.
But if I felt neglected, ignored, lonely, worried, or didn't know or get along with her metamour, then I'm certain I'd feel bad rather than compersion.
Compersion exists in a non-poly context as well. For example, when a divorced partner is genuinely happy for the ex finding a new love interest (and it's not just because they don't have to pay alimony anymore
), that's compersion. It's just that polys can feel compersion without having to get divorced first.