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Old 04-02-2012, 11:03 PM
km34 km34 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 624

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Well, you've never told us what that "something which happened in the past" is. I don't see how we can say whether or not it's a good idea to look past it if we don't know what it is.
Genebean has mentioned a few things that would be issues for me if this was a couple in my (or my partner's) life:

1. The man of the couple made a comment about getting the woman to fuck polypenguin so that Genebean would leave. This occurred AFTER she had told the guy that she was not ready for polypenguin to have a girlfriend and while she was in the very next room and could hear him talking.

2. The woman of the couple slept with another chick's husband - i.e. cheated or helped him cheat, depending on your perspective - and this other woman was supposedly her (best) friend.

3. (and this one is not mentioned anywhere, it is just my personal thing) In general, this couple doesn't seem very respectful of boundaries that they know exist. I don't know how long you two (polypenguin and Genebean) have known this couple, but in the span of the last month or so that you've been posting, I've read multiple instances of them propositioning one or both of you with sex. If you are consistently saying "no, we're not ready" or "no, Genebean doesn't approve" or whatever, WHY DO THEY KEEP BRINGING IT UP? You need to set some serious boundaries with these people if you want them in your life at all or they are going to keep pushing you to have sex with them which is going to keep upsetting Genebean (rightly so, if you ask me) which is going to keep causing tension in your primary relationship which is going to keep slowing down the progress towards a more fully opened relationship (which you're already complaining about being slow) which is going to make you more and more frustrated which is going to cause you to be even more frustrated, etc. etc. This is NOT a good path to go down.

Anyway, back on point...

I don't think giving second chances is wrong. I think it is possible to salvage a friendship here IF this couple works on their issues and you work on setting boundaries. I would NOT ask Genebean to even be in their presence. Ever. They have made statements that make her feel unsafe (once again, rightly so in my book) so there is no reason for her to ever have a relationship on any level with them. I think you need to forget having sex with them, because they have very warped views of it. He should not EVER believe he is entitled to sex or expect it from anyone - this is an issue I would consider necessary for him to work on in order to remain my friend. She should examine why she thinks it's okay to proposition her friends' SOs all the time and work on that major issue - this happening first with this instance in the past and now with you. Repeatedly. Who knows if this has happened more and you/we just don't know. No, I do NOT think "just sex" with them is okay.

I'm still confused about your focus on sex, by the way...
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