Our threesome story
Due to encouragement from some members, here is our story. I'll start at the beginning. Thanks for reading.
How to describe a lifetime of dreams realized suddenly. Years of study and preparation and processing that conjure thought into form slowly, at the speed of water under the earth. My whole life since sexual maturity I have loved multiple people at the same time. My whole life since sexual maturity I have longed to have multiple lovers in my life. I have dreamed of the open expansive heart space that I imagine could exist between three people who love each other and let go of our dominant cultural norms and taboos and baggage about relationships.
I discussed this all with my wife before we were first lovers. She knew of my simple belief that multiple loves and lovers are possible and that I desire them. She understood the concept because she once loved two men at the same time. So with this understanding between us we committed to each other. Over the years we discussed concepts and possibilities, but for the most part things remained theory and concept.
At one yummy sensual party she kissed a couple other girls. At one yummy sensual party we made love on the side of the room but in view of one of those women. She fell quickly in love with that woman, but the constellation of factors in each others lives did not favor us becoming lovers. That was the first time that my wife really felt that it was actually possible for us to take another lover into our lives. Before meeting and kissing that woman and falling quickly in love with her, all was ethereal theory and idea. Putting a face and a beating heart behind the concept concreted it and made it real. For a long time she longed for that woman, although she is apparently out of reach now forever.
Over the years we would comment to each other how hot this person was or how attractive this other person was. We would playfully joke with each other about inviting that cute girl or boy over there to be our little toy lover and servant. We never took action, but we allowed our selves to enjoy small simple quick fantasies.
Once she had a male dance partner comment to her that maybe they should be lovers. She took that concept to me and I met him and judged it okay. I didn't want a threesome with him, but I was conceptually fine with her being lovers with him. She hung out with him a few times, but schedules and modern life being what they are, it didn't ever blossom. At least she got to see how I handled the concept.
A couple of times I had interactions with old ex lovers with whom I still shared a spark and heat. My wife really didnt handle those moments well. Her reactions were as direct and clear as my beautiful wife is. She would fill with fear, her heart and belly would ache with the sensation of loss or betrayal or some similar gutting pain.She would lock up and stop communicating well. So my interactions with my ex lovers were never as wonderful as I hoped they could be. I simply kept them dry, although i felt a deep sadness for not being able to be lovers with them again.
that sadness has been there betraying a profound sense of putting a core and deep part of my self into a box on the upper shelf of a closet...never to see the light of day and only remembered with melancholy and longing. we are such rich and multifaceted beings, us homo sapiens sapiens. paradox is the highest truth I have found about our species. My life was profoundly rich and my relationship with my wife profoundly fulfilling and at the same time I had part of my heart shrinking in a dust cloud of slowly withering hope on that dark closet shelf.
you cant know the sweet without knowing the sour or bitter. It is simply not possible to know how bright the light is without darkness. It is in polarities that we can taste more complete understanding, and without diverse experience an understanding is ever small and lopsided.
When my heart was "broken" by an ex lover years before I met my now wife, I learned the power of pain. In that indelible slice of poison that I swallowed, I came to appreciate joy, honesty, and truth in an entirely profound new way.
With the vision of progressive open relationships supported by my resonant core embodiment of truth and honesty in relationships I entered into my relationship with my now wife. I wanted to make a firm foundation when we started. I wanted this relationship to be solid and powerful, flexible and resilient. The way I saw to build that strong foundation was with infinite trust. So I asked her to take the time to hear me out as I told her my entire sexual and relationship history to that point. It is so easy to just not bring up past lovers. But then how much can you ever know your lover? Each past lover has carved lines into the bedrock of their heart, contours upon their sensitivities and consciousness, wounds and flowers cave paintings of pain and pleasure that make them who they are today.
It took a long time. It took months. She was very afraid of me and un trusting for a while. She didn't like hearing about every one of my relationships. There was just no way that I could see us building an inspiring relationship without her knowing who I really am by knowing who I have been. Eventually with the patience that mountains and trees know, we came to a deep an profound level of trust between us. Now it is unshakable. There is nothing that can break that core trust.
Next: the man that comes into our lives and our bed.