I'm largely confused at this point....
kind of feel like I just got off the tilt-a-whirl and am trying to get my balance back.
I wonder if a re-shuffle of household responsibilities are in order rather than becoming a sub.... maybe doing that first?
I am not seeing it as viable to be completely submissive if you are "the boss" of so many other areas of your life. Perhaps dividing responsibilities up more will create more balance and therefore more balance in the bedroom?
It did for me a couple of years ago.
I was the boss of everything. I had a baby back then and would bark out my orders to anyone who would listen and do as they were told.... extreme! I hated being a new mother, never took to the baby thing and was very resentful. That is the reason I only have one child.
That gradually seeped into the bedroom. I just would lie back and take it in order to get off... after having other fun that is. Now there is a balance in everything in my life and I find that I can allow myself to be bossy and get off... if that makes sense? I am learning that I LOVE IT! there is nothing I love more than pinning my lover down, strapping them down and fucking the shit out of them until climax, mmmmmm mmmmmmm that is getting me going!
I'm using the term "boss" in a playful way here as in our house we use it that way... kind of "reclaiming" that word (that was a joke for Mono.... heh.