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Old 04-01-2012, 07:42 AM
urmila urmila is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: chennai, India
Posts: 56
Thumbs up pitfalls

Before i write about my religion and polyamory, I wold like to talk about the pitfalls, that we have to be careful for a long lasting relationship mentioned my Ms Anita Wagner. and how it applies to us

PITFALL : Lack of Poly Education - All 4 of us have read quite extensively all the information available on net on this subject

PITFALL -- Lack of Basic Intimate Relationship Skills - We have 21 years of married life and the other couple more than 16 years of married life. We can justifiably claim that all of us have that basic skills building of intimate relationship. Also over the last 10 months after living together we have developed intimate relationship, only after which we have have taken the decision, and in the past few weeks, we have openly discussed before fixing the boundaries, and I am glad to say that there was not much of a negotiation was required, since all our views were almost same

PITFALL Falling Victim to the Kid in the Candy Store Syndrome. - this will definitely apply to us, sinnce the decision has not been taken in a hurry and the long gestataion period has ensured that we have not taken the decision based on N R E

PITFALL : Letting Guilt, Fear and Jealousy Get the Best of You - The understanding, trust we have developed over the past year will make sure that these negative feelings will not have any place in our relationship

PITFALL : Failing to get what poly demands of us all - All of us have understood that we have what is required for an enduring relationship, reason being that the relationship is basically built on love and the emotional attachement that has developed over a period.

PITFALL : The Challenges of Poly Parenting - This is not an issue at all with us, as we see it. Our only son is planned to to go to USA for his post graduate studies after his graduation next year and most probabalt will settle down there like his uncle and my cousin has no children

PITFALL : Living in the community and avoiding any negative impact - Sine we will be living in the same building and we are related, we need not go public in our immediate neighborhood and among our friends' circle to avoid this. and it looks quite natural if i go out with my cousin or my husband going out with his wife.


We are quite mature people and we understand that we are not perfect. We do expect some adjustments have to be made as we go along and we cant be very rigid about the boundaries we have set now.
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