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Old 04-01-2012, 01:51 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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To me, it seems backwards to have a relationship configuration in mind and then look for people to fit into that. Being open to having polyamorous relationships doesn't mean that all potential lovers are like jigsaw puzzle pieces. I'm not saying I don't have my own ideals I would like to see happen for myself. However, in terms of relationships, I think the important thing is to start with the people first. Be open to meeting people, getting to know people, put yourself in social situations, have a dating profile online, whatever, and then see what happens. Yes, let people know that you don't want a monogamous situation, but you can't create a dynamic (vee, triad, etc.) out of thin air and insert human beings into it. Be open to surprises. See what kind of poly configuration comes out of the dynamics that naturally develop with the people you date, find yourself attracted to, and enjoying yourself with.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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