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Old 03-31-2012, 09:07 PM
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StarTeddy StarTeddy is offline
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Question The difference between love and friendship.

When I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, I told him that even if I wasn't interested in someone else at the moment, our relationship wouldn't be able to continue because he didn't meet my emotional needs. Then, he told me that if I need emotional support, that's what best friends are for and I don't need to have another lover to have my needs met. I don't have very many female friends because I have trouble relating to women, and I often develop feelings for my close friends. I told him that I couldn't be best friends with someone without wanting to be more, and that the friends I do have stay friends because I don't like them as much and I don't feel comfortable talking to them about my feelings....so if I were to try to be monogamous with him, I'd not only not get my needs met, but have to keep all my friends at arm's length. He told me that I have a screwed-up perception of friendship and that I could definitely be best friends with someone without wanting a relationship.

What I realized was that for me, friendship is not qualitatively different from love, but that both lie on the same continuum. To me, the things that make a good friend are the same things that make a good lover, and if I get along really well with a friend, that feeling turns into romantic interest... But for him, it's not necessarily like that.

What do you guys think?
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