DH and I have been married over 17 years. Only opened up to non monogamy and then poly within the last five. Not once has someone talked to him before me. The relationship I am in now, although long distance, has been the most successful as far as comfort and respect and communication. Yet, the two men have only communicated together once. After a surgery DC texted worried and DH texted back to let him know how things went.
Now, they know of each other, I know DC respects DH and is honestly still a little nervous. He feels DH is a role he would never fill and is a rather long yard stick to be measured against. (No there is no competition but there is still worry sometimes from both on comparisons) They may talk in the future, they may not. I allow that bit to go at their pace, not mine. They have both passed along information, games and music they think the other would be interested in through me, and said 'hi' through me while I am chatting, but the two together? No. Sometimes Metamours can become great friends, but I never assumed it was required. As long as everyone is honest and communicating well, even if it's not always directly, then I don't worry over it. I am, after all, the one dating DC. If DH dates in the future I won't assume the woman will have to go through me to do so.
Me: Late 30s pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 19 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +4 year