Originally Posted by dingedheart
I don't see how this could work long term. You and the lover getting off on some cockold type thing...at the expense of the guy watching your kid. Conscious or subconcius this will bleed through....hell it may have aready. How much contact do they have with each other. God I hope your bf never reads this thread.
I disagree, it can last long term. My own situation mirrors Aurelies, and it has worked for me, my husband and boyfriend.
I dont think she said that she gets off on the cuckold thing, it's her lover that does, and that doesn't surprise me. It's a man thing.
So what if her boyfriend is a cuckold anyway. By the way she talks about him, I dont think any of us doubts how much she loves her boyfriend and she will naturally want to be as polite about him as possible, but lets be honest about what this is about. (And correct me if I'm wrong Aurelie) He DOES NOT measure up sexually. He is NOT up to the job, and as much as he tries he CANNOT satisfy his woman. He sounds like a lovely guy and because of that, this may sound harsh................but if he's not man enough sexually, then she should cuckold him. I'm sorry, but that's the way I feel.
It sounds like Aurelie has everything she wants, why should she give that up? She should fight for it. She has a man that looks after her and gets her and her son things they have never had. He's very loving towards them both and they both love him. She also has a man that gives her what she needs in bed. I think in this day and age, woman can have both, and if that cant be with one man, why not two?
It can only work if you have an understanding man. My husband knows he doesn't satisfy me and that my boyfriend does. He was hurt at first but he understands that he and my daughter are number one in my life, and they are. He is four times the man that my boyfriend is, except in one way, sexual. This is a hurdle Aurelie needs to get over. He knows she is having sex with another man, he doesn't like it, but puts up with it, and this makes him a cuckold. If she can break it gently to her boyfriend that she needs her lover because he gives her sexual satisfaction that he cant, thats what she should do. When he excepts that, things will get better, if he understands that sex isn't love, and it's not a game to be won. As soon as he comes to terms with it and excepts this he will no longer feel bad. He will know that he is giving her his blessing because it is something she needs/wants, and he loves her and wants her to be happy.
If he cannot except that, and he isn't understanding (Most people wouldn't be) then Aurelie and her boyfriend need to reeavaluate there relationship. If I was her, I would hang on to that boyfriend and give up her lover, but not till I had tried my best, and this will mean that her boyfriend will be hurt in the short term, but the relationship will be stronger in the long term. She needs her lover for her to be 100% happy, as I do. It doesn't mean that I don't love my husband.
Lets not forget though, that her boyfriend knew about this from the start and excepted it.
Also, her child considers her boyfriend to be his father, and he probably thinks of him as his son, they live together, and they are a family. Whats the problem with them staying at home together, when she is with her lover. He's not a babysitter, he's his Dad. Who else should be looking after the child when Mum isn't there?
Aurelie, if you go about this the right way, and you give your boyfriend the love, sex, and encouragement he needs, you CAN keep both.