Originally Posted by dingedheart
Hi and welcome,
How long have you been discussing poly with your wife?
What do you mean you feel the need to stand alone with your sexuality? Poly's a team sport...standing alone?
Do you have kid's ?
1/ About three months intentionally. A little bit for a couple of years.
The driver for me in terms of my sexual history which included serious sexual abuse, and my erotic dimension being crushed, is about not being in a situation where an institution (marriage) or another person conditions and controls my choices. I resent this and find it constrains my love in all sorts of ways. Sexual expression is not actually the biggest issuer in this. Autonomy, as opposed to selfishness is the driver. I think I really am attracted to the level of co-operation and conversation involved in this pathway of ethical sexual expression. I am in no way interested in casual sex. I am interested in my love abounding in a careful, negoctiated and healing way. I have been on a long journey of recovery, and i came to the point where I just had to be honest about my feelings and resemtments. For me the conversation may be enough.... the sense of freedom may be enough for me to remain monogamous. I just don't know, and do not want to project some decision into the future.
Our boys are 15 and 17