Originally Posted by Aurelie26
Well my lover has nothing to be jealous about does he. He's the cocky type, he knows how good in bed he is and he knows that he's got what I need.
Having said that, I also have what he needs, so it works well. Yes, he has asked about my boyfriend and has said shitty things about him. He also gets a weird kick out of the fact that my boyfriend is at home, looking after my son, while we are having sex. He likes the fact that my boyfriend knows, and does nothing about it.
Unlike with my boyfriend though, I can be rude to him, and I tell him to shut up. Also, he will say that if he wanted to, he could take me from my boyfriend at anytime. Like I said, he's arrogant. It turns me on in a way.
He's wrong though. He couldn't.
I feel really sad about this. I would break up with somebody who behaved like that, and if I said shut up and they ever brought it up again, that would be it. It doesn't seem very loving to date somebody who speaks badly of another partner. I think its horrible to let your boyfriend stay at home babysitting at all after hearing this. At the very least it seems like you should have babysitting from another source EVERY TIME you have a date with your lover.
The fact that your boyfriend knows and does nothing about it? Why would he do anything about it? You are in a poly relationship, you are on a date...is he supposed to come...kick your lover's ass or something? Is your lover poly, because that doesn't sound like it. In my life at least, polyamory is supposed to enhance my life and bring more love into it. That means partners having respect for my husband at the very least. I'm wondering if you're purposefully participating in cuckolding instead of poly, and if your boyfriend senses it and is an unwilling participate in it. If so, no wonder he isn't thrilled with the situation.
You also said "The problem started when my lover and I went away for a weekend together, my bf asked me not to go, but I did." You also said "my boyfriend comes first". Those two things contradict each other. After rereading the thread and having some other input, and seeing that your boyfriend was stuck taking care of your (no doubt wonderful) child while you went on a trip with your lover after he asked you to not go... I do have to suggest the alternative that unless you are going to stop taking advantage of your laid back but miserable boyfriend, maybe you should break up with him since you are unable to give up the lover that isn't poly but thinks your boyfriend is an object of ridicule.