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Old 03-31-2012, 01:37 AM
SuddenlyStoneElf SuddenlyStoneElf is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Boulder, CO, USA
Posts: 8
Question Interest in my husband

Hi guys,

I have a question for you, this is bugging me for some reason and I cannot figure out where the jealousy may be coming from.

I am wrestling with the idea (and possibility) that an acquaintance/friend of my husband's is interested in having something (fling? FWB? some kind of relationship?) with my husband.

This interest was expressed back when my husband thought he was poly before having given much actual thought to the idea except as a potential way to experiment sexually with a friend outside our dating relationship at the time.

I don't think this lady has forgotten him even though he's backed off the idea, and she did express her own reservations: she didn't exactly want to start anything with someone new (her words to him, as he told me). She didn't have time, she was dealing with a broken heart, etc...

Now she may be back in the picture soon. I know the interest is not dead between them at all. But I have never met her. I'm bothered by the idea that she may be thinking of pursuing something with him when she hasn't even made herself known to me.

I have the nagging feeling that I shouldn't be having any problem with this. But I do. It bothers me very much that someone is thinking about starting something with my husband without even talking to me.

Is this very common, that people outside will just approach one half of a couple and go ahead with their own plan, and not try to figure out who's already in the life of this person? Is it common to consider people on their own basis as one person, one individual, even though they're married/with other people, and keep everyone separate?

I don't know if I'm clear enough but the feeling itself is muddy... I know this probably touches some of my trust issues.

I also know that I may be having this problem because I absolutely could NOT have a relationship with anyone before hubby has a chance to get to know the guy. I suppose, being like this, I want to be treated the same way. I understand that maybe my husband and this woman don't work like that.

I would definitely appreciate some tips on figuring this one out... how should I try to approach this? =/
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