Thread: First Poly date
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Old 03-30-2012, 07:58 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
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Hey Frank, please don't turn what works for me into a special formula or rule you think you should follow. I'm flattered that my words resonated with you, but I do directly state in my profile that I do not want exclusivity, as Derby pointed out. Honestly, I read your passage about relationship patterns and do not really know what you're talking about! It comes across a bit like gobbledy-gook.

AND please note that, although I don't use the p-word to describe myself or my approach to relationships, it is mentioned elsewhere in my OKC profile in another context - as the first clue. I also make sure to answer all the poly-related Questions they have, so that is another clue for anyone savvy enough. Also, while I don't necessarily see it as crucial to bring up on a first date, if the conversations leads to it, I won't shy away from talking about polyamory. My point is that I'm flexible, according to the vibe I get from someone, but I tend to reveal just enough to pique someone's interest in contacting me, but leave the deeper discussions for after we establish a connection (whether in person, via emails, or on the phone). But even I don't make my own preferences into hard and fast rules on how to do it.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 03-30-2012 at 08:02 PM.
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