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Old 03-30-2012, 07:36 PM
km34 km34 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 624

First of all - I'm not understanding the point of this post in the first place. The main argument seems to be based around "needs" which others have already posted on... Needs have been proven to be more complex than what we really need to survive and function. To be psychologically healthy as well as physically healthy is a need. Some people need to be completely honest to be psychologically healthy - and physically healthy if you have anxiety issues, stomach ulcers, or any other illness that flares up with stress (I would argue that the world would be a better place if ALL people needed to be honest).

Originally Posted by Vinccenzo View Post
The alternative opposite I see on places like this is "wish your partner did (whatever)? get another partner!" and no one even blinks. I just wonder why, especially when often filling that want with someone else just shuts down compromise.
I don't think this is suggested first and foremost often, if ever. I only remember reading/hearing it in the context of, "Oh your partner HATES to cycle, but you love it and wish you had company? Well, since you two already identify as poly (or you do and your partner is supportive) and have a healthy relationship that won't fall apart if feelings develop -because really, feelings often develop when you share something you love with another person- why don't you find someone who enjoys it to do it with you? Then you make a new friend, have someone to cycle with, and if you happen to fall in love, great." I don't think the focus is always on finding another romantic partner, since friends play supporting roles in most of our lives as well.

I would be a ton less fun to be around too if everything my partner thought good enough to toot over on a relationship forum was about someone new they were seeing.
I don't "toot over" my relationship with my husband often because I don't struggle with it often. I don't HAVE to focus on the best of times to remember why it's worth working through the bad. Now, if we had a rough spot, you can bet your ass I'd be going over to the success area and bragging about it when we get through it! That doesn't mean I appreciate him any less in real-life, though, and that's the important part. Who gives a shit what I say online? If a partner of mine is putting that much emphasis on the limited details I post on some forum, I think that would severely diminish my opinion of that person.
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