thoughts on feeling threatened
Had some good talks with Ren about his relationship with Lou and why I feel threatened by some aspects of it. It's interesting that it did not bother me one bit that they went on vacation together (twice) but that it bothers me a lot that she's spending so much time at our house whenever she's in town (her own place is not suitable for sleepovers).
I'm never at the house when she's here (I'm at work, with friends, or with 1 of my lovers) but I know when she's there, and it bothers me. There seem to more signs of her presence after every visit. Little things left behind in different rooms. A bottle of shampoo in the bathroom. Things like that. Those constant reminders.. upset me.
I'm going away for a week pretty soon (by myself) and I've asked Ren not to let her stay over for more than 2 nights in a row. I wanted to say 1 night, but I compromised because I can see how nice that would be, to maybe have a whole day and 2 nights together. He said he will keep this in mind.
Is it wrong of me to want to hear him say: ok, I'll arrange it like that? This way, I feel that he won't commit.. and that if she wants to stay the whole week, he will let her, and he only has to say to me: I tried to do it your way, but it did not work out.
I think I need a promise from him before I leave, or I'll just keep wondering about it..
early forties, straight.