We're engaged! Yay for me, yay for us, yay for Vanilla!
My mum warned me that often when people make a big commitment to each other, like getting engaged, married, buying property or deciding to try for kids, the relationships might experience some turbulent times, because of all the fears and insecurities around making such a big, visible commitment. Vanilla's been really down lately because of what she sees as our waning sex life. I see that the problem lately has been more of recurrent infections she's had, which have also significantly altrered her sexual response. I'm trying to learn how to touch her all over again and I'm fumbling.
To fight back Lesbian Bed Death, we've settled down three nights a week for sex, and marked them on our calendar (that wall calendar of ours is getting a lot of action these days!). Orgasms have a really significant effect on Vanilla's mood, in that she gets very depressed without regular sex (masturbation doesn't cut it, but only adds to the frustration). Also, we've started to read Sexual Intimacy for Women self-help book.
Me: bi female in my twenties