wow! it's really amazing that you are so open, and willing to share your experiences with all of us. i'm so glad you and your wife have been able to move forward with being poly, and that things seem to be working out well.
i for one and grateful for this post, as while i've been poly minded for a long time, i'm in my 1st poly relationship, and i have no doubt that when the time comes i will be looking back at this post, b'c while i'm not sure, i think i might have similar thoughts going through my head. (sorry for the tangent)