Originally Posted by NovemberRain
Sometimes NRE can lead a person to forget to hold their tongue. However, it may be an indicator of her ability to be and/or stay appropriate. Hard to tell, this early.
I remember talking about babies with a boyfriend. He is thirteen years older than I am, and I was completely overwhelmed. He pointed out that consideration of babies is practically a biological imperative when you're having sex. He thought it would be unnatural if we didn't think about such things, even though we were both very clear in our preference to never spawn. And we were. At that point even, my tubes were already tied.
So, yah, I agree it's way too soon to give serious thought to such things. And, yah, I understand why some people think on it, and give voice to it. Doesn't have to be serious.
You put words to what I'm wrestling with, perfectly. Could be this, could be that, too soon to tell.
Is this a "normal" poly viewpoint? I mean I know you can't really call anything normal because every person/relationship/situation is different... I guess: is it common for secondaries to have children with the primaries?
("Secondary" & "primary" chosen because we as a couple have a hierarchy, I know that's not everyone's preference) I think part of my freaking out over that thought is that I never even considered that as an option. I always just assumed I'd be the only one having my husband's kids, and so did he.
We're giving it a month or so. At that point, if she's mellowed some, Hubbs wants to bring it up with her. He said he wants to make clear that he's not comfortable with them having kids together, but he has no objection to her having more kids with someone else. If that's not what she wants, we'll have to reevaluate.
The idea just sort of blind-sided me. I read 1 other post on here about that, and that's it. And the reactions to that one were pretty aghast, so I didn't think that was the norm in poly relationships.
Thanks for all the responses. I love how everyone on here is able to help each other sort things out & give perspective.