Does everyone think of it as that uncommon? I don't know, but I skimmed all the important stuff right from the start. What are the long term goal, ideal, ideas? Children? Building a house? Working in a different state/country? Going rural to shy away from all official social communities? and so on ... Sward and I talked about that during the first months. Doesn't mean that things where fixed with it, just to get an impression where the other was positioning himself and what his idea of future prospects are. I would always want to know where things are generally heading to.
Concerning the question of children, we discussed that topic in our vee during the last months a bit and came to the conclusion that both men would eventually have a biological child with me. As dh and I were already planning one, we go 'first'. Even though it may be a bit early to seriously consider it in your situation, maybe she just wanted to know if it would be a prospect ever? I think it is fair to ask for some clarification on this part from her side.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.