The usual new guy stuff
Let's get the basics aout of the way. I'm an approaching 40's male with a GF of 9 yrs and a dear friend who was in a committed relationship for 13 of the last 14 yrs I've known her. A few years back we started to have an affair that is still lasting even with her now being technically single and recently declaring herself as poly. I myself am in a mono relationship that I have been able to get my unmarried partner to hesitantly agreed to a poly situation with her. (they are dear friends)
Now my dilemma is with my long time friend, affair and now poly partner is that she has taken a new person on who is married with the consent of his spouse and after knowing him only 10 months total (I introduced them) My secondary (if you will) views us as equals. Not a problem in and of itself but after 14 years of friendship and knowing that I provided (and continue to do so) for her she is willing to not respect the investment is troubling to me.
I know it's way more complicated then what I said since I've had a head injury that complicates my perception of things and such I just thought I ask if on the surface I was wrong. Basically if after 14 years of friendship, months of her living in my home with my mono spouse (GF) and my continuing efforts to help support am I wrong in expecting my opinions and wishes to carry more weight with my poly secondary?
If you need clarification please ask. It's part of the whole head injury thing. Sometimes I don't make complete sense.