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Old 03-28-2012, 09:34 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,573

Originally Posted by ViableAlternative View Post
You might be able to solve this to the contentment of all with the old "necktie" thing.... If there's a necktie on the doorknob, then there's sex going on and don't open the door. Simple solution. ... satisfy both their needs.
LOL! That has occurred to me actually

The situation is such however that if I open the door to hang a necktie ( either of these guys OWN a necktie? ) then MrS is sitting at his computer desk literally 12 feet away so it seems much more natural to just take 6 steps over and TALK to him. I usually say that Dude and I are going to be busy for a while and does he need anything from the bedroom or ask if I get him anything from the kitchen while I am up. And if MrS happens to be in the bedroom (again 6 feet from the door) sometimes when I go in to tell him he will say - oh, if you guys want to wait 5 minutes I was going to get up anyway and you two can have the bed.

I get a kiss and a nuzzle and go into the encounter much more relaxed knowing that MrS is on board. So apparently I ALSO have needs I am trying to meet. A few times it happened that Dude was the one to talk to MrS pre-sex (like if I was already in bed) - and I found that that didn't cut it for me - I missed that moment of connection with MrS beforehand and found that it really distracted me. Perhaps I have to work on that.

On the other hand, on the few occasions that MrS was out of the house (with the full understanding that sex would likely occur in his absence) I did notice that there was some increased excitement from the "spontaneous" feel to our encounters so I think that maybe I need to engineer some more instances which allow this to occur. (Difficult right now but may be more possible in the near future).

The adaptations have been many over the past year, I really don't think we will have too many issues ironing this out as well!

Happy Loving everyone!

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
SLeW: platonic girlfriend + BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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