Originally Posted by nycindie
Your first post sounded like you were already moving her in, and I got scared for you and just wanted to shake you a bit. I hope you and Hubs stay smart about it. Really, really, go slowly, okay?
If you want to learn about triads, here is a link to some threads with that tag (since you say you're bad at searching): http://www.polyamory.com/forum/tags.php?tag=triad
Haha, I appreciate that. Really.
This whole endeavor is a bit scary, so the straight talk on here is very helpful.
We chose the terms "bf/gf" because it's just simpler that way. Hubbs & I aren't into a lot of partners, so we would most likely be poly-fi with any secondaries, whether they be shared or separate relationships. She's green-lighted by us to still date, we don't own her. She isn't interested in that at this point though.
Part of me is kind of screaming that this talk is proof positive that this particular choice in paramour is not a good one. Live & learn. But I can be a bit hasty in my judgment, so I'm trying to allow an adjustment period.
I plan on not being physical with her until Hubbs & I can come to a conclusion on B's future plans. We've tried to talk about it but it gets awkward & she shuts down a little. She says this is her first venture into poly, too, so it very well could be nervousness & uncertainty on her own desires/beliefs/whatever.